


Safe Place

by navaan



Series: Age-Series [4]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Community: 10_hurt_comfort, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, M/M, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-16
Updated: 2010-12-16
Packaged: 2017-10-13 17:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/139576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto asks Jack about his meetings with the Doctor, making him doubt his own place in the Doctor's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe Place

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 10_hurt_comfort-challenge at lj. Promt: Jealousy.

Ianto set down a cup of coffee on his desk, and Jack recognized the coffee for the excuse it was. His lover had wanted to ask him about something since he had first picked up on the Doctor's visits. Bringing coffee was the perfect excuse to start a conversation. Ianto knew about all the things coffee could be at times... When he felt a slightly flirty smile begin to form on his lips at the thought, he paused. This wasn't exactly the time

„You have that far away look again,” Ianto told him in a slightly hurt tone. “You always get that look when _he_ was here.”

In a way he was glad that his lover was finally bringing it up. Jack had seen this talk coming for some time now, and had never once thought about starting this conversation without Ianto's prompting. But there was no need to lie about it. Better to be up front and get it over with. “Yeah, I suppose, I do.” It was hard to explain this to someone who didn't really knew the Doctor. You missed him the minute he left – even if you made the decision to stay behind.

“See, Ianto. He comes here as my friend. Because he needs a friend.” He hoped the other would pick up on the unspoken: _You have nothing to worry about._ “He is lonely and sometimes he needs company.”

The crease of Ianto's brow made it clear that Jack hadn't yet managed to put his fears to rest. “It's just: You flirt, you tell stories about your exploits, you look after every good looking _person_ that comes along - but you never ever get _that_ look when it's not about him.” The soft welsh accent masked the agitation, but Jack knew it was there.

He sighed. Because he knew Ianto was right in far too many ways. “Look here, Ianto. He really only comes here, because he has a lot to deal with. And he doesn't have anyone around to listened to him, you know?” It sounded shallow as he said it. He was proud that the Doctor _was_ coming to him. And he was glad that they had found a new kind of connection. He _did not want_ to play down the elation and happiness he felt about the precious trust he had been given.

“It's more than that, is it?” Ianto asked accusingly. He wasn't stupid, and he had the right to get an honest answer.

“For me it is. He left me behind once.” Ianto's eyes widened in surprise. Jack had never told the story of his travels with the Doctor and Rose, and of course nobody knew about the unfortunate and abrupt ending of their happy times together. “And now he comes to me to talk. It means the world to me, Ianto. You can't imagine the things...”

Ianto took a deep breath. “I've seen him more or less in action, _thank you_.” It is said as an offhand remark, but Jack hears the rest.

“Is it that what's bothering you? ”

“In a way,” Ianto admitted softly. “Do you want me to believe he doesn't want you to come with him again?”

It wasn't that Jack hadn't wondered about that himself. “Maybe you should sit down,” he suggested.

That made Ianto purse his lip. “Just tell me, Jack””

He couldn't blame him for wanting to know where he stood. After all they were never talking about their own – whatever it was, really? It went far beyond a mere working relationship, but they never discussed it. Not beyond soft reassurances, flirting and dinner dates.

And now Ianto was discussing the Doctor. But what could Jack tell him? It was just too complicated to explain it in detail. Martha would have understood it. So would Rose, Sarah-Jane and maybe the now lost Donna. Nothing was ever straight forward and easy with the Doctor. And the Time Lord coming here _to talk_ \- without anything short of a catastrophe that threatened the planet - was nothing short of a miracle. Even more so because he was really talking a lot. And not to hear his own voice, but to get things off his chest.

How did you explain that to someone who didn't know the Doctor?

Jack leaned back in his chair, considering his words carefully. “There is no need to be jealous. I guess you could say I'm his anchor, his save place. At the moment he needs that. And I'm all right with being there for him while he is willing to admit that he needs someone. Okay? He is my friend.”

Ianto gave a snort. “Friend? The way you so rarely talk about him, makes him out to be so much more than that.” Than the Welshman nodded. “And he is, isn't he? I've read enough files...”

He held up a hand. A file didn't tell you more than plain facts that didn't matter if you had known the real thing. Jack thought it was best to cut this short. But Ianto had the right to get some form of truth. “He's wonderful and crazy and heroic and totally oblivious to people falling in love with him, Ianto. So, yes, I love him, I loved him a long time before I ever met you. But it's unlikely anything will ever come of it and it doesn't mean I love you any less. Never think that.”

His lover stared at him surprised. Jack was painfully aware that this was the closest that he had ever gotten to say, “I love you”. “So, you are not leaving with him?” Ianto asked again.

Jack shook his head. “I made the decision to come back and stay. You're not getting rid of me that easily.”

“But if he wants you to go?” He just wished Ianto could let this go. There was no answer to this. He had declined the offer to travel in the Tardis again. It felt like a mistake sometimes. It felt like the right thing to do on others. He simply didn't know.

“I have a lot of time,” he explained. “I'll be out there again one day. But now I'm here with you. Isn't that enough?”

Ianto nodded, his face an unreadable mask. “Maybe it is.”

–

Hours later Jack was still thinking about that talk. It wasn't only Ianto's jealousy that had made him feel a strange detachment.

The talk had also made him second guess all his little encounters with the Doctor.

 _At the moment he needs that and I'm all right with being there for him, while he is willing to admit that he needs someone. Okay?_

He could hear his own words to Ianto over and over again in his mind.

It wasn't okay. It hurt. Because he had admitted something there that was vital.

After their first talk about the Master and Gray things had changed between them. The Doctor had come to admit that he needed someone. _At the moment_. Because he was alone for now. But eventually he would find someone else to travel with. He always did. And then Jack would be forgotten again. Left behind like many others.

He couldn't deal with Ianto's jealousy and at the same time face the possibility that he would lose this newly formed connection with the Doctor.

Why could life never be easy?

Jack had thought his choice to stay on earth had been all about moving on, about finally being over his futile crush on the Time Lord. It had been about taking responsibility for his team, about doing the right thing. But hadn't it been more about not getting hurt again? And was he headed for more hurt now anyway? And when had he turned into such an emotional idiot?

It made his head ache and he grabbed his coat to leave the Hub in a hurry. Getting some fresh air would do him a world of good. It would help him think and forget about this. Move on.

Minutes later he was standing on the roof of the Millenium Centre, watching the Plass and the Bay at large, when suddenly he turned in surprise at the familiar sound of the Tardis arriving. Arriving right behind him on the roof, no less.

He stood there, staring in uneasy surprise when the door opened and the Doctor stumbled out, nearly tripping over his long swinging overcoat in the process, and very nearly crashing right into Jack.

“Whoa, why are you in such a hurry?”

“Hmm?” The Doctor looked adorably confused for a moment. “Hurry? I'm not in a hurry. Haven't been out much though. Tardis maintenance. Tricky business.” He smiled brightly. “All fixed now.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Don't need help with that?”

The Doctor's expression turned to wide eyed puzzlement again. “Why would I need help fixing the old girl? Have you found any useful alien tech?” He sounded exited by the prospect and Jack smiled despite the still lingering feeling of gloominess. The Doctor and technology nearly always marked the beginning of something akin to a love story. And he could so understand that.

Boys and their toys. Fiddling with advanced machinery was one of his favourite past times, too. “No.” He shook his head. “Nothing that could be of immediate use to you. Although you could come and take a look around our repository one day.” It was an open invitation, although he figured the Doctor wouldn't take him up on it. He had declined the invitation to enter Torchwood time and time again and his mind wouldn't be changed. He had his prejudices, this heroic alien.

“You'd not be afraid, I'd raid your stocks?” The Doctor gave him an exited glance, then looked down at the Plass, for a split second standing on his tiptoes as if that would give him an even better view. He was all nervous energy today. “I probably would, too. I'd like that. Not today, though. Had enough fiddling for some time...” He turned towards Jack. “Why are we standing on a roof?”

“I like it up here.” He shrugged. What was he supposed to say? Initially he had come here to be alone and get his sorts in order.

“Yeah, nice view,” the Doctor nodded. “Sets everything into perspective, ey?” The man nodded to himself again, running his fingers through his hair, messing it up more than the strong wind had managed by now.

Jack waited for an explanation of the Doctor's visit, but his friend was happy watching the people below. “Why are you here?” he finally asked.

The Doctor looked a little surprised again. “I'm visiting. You said to...”

“...drop by, yeah. But you normally have a reason, you know?”

The man had the grace to nod immediately. “Yeah. Thought we could go have a drink.”

“A drink?”

“Yeah. You know. _Sociable outing between friends_. Thought you might like the idea.”

“That sounds as if you have looked it up in a database. Has something happened?” Jack asked, not trusting the mood.

The Doctor shook his head. “No. No. Nothing has happened. Isn't that just brilliant? Nothing has happened. The Tarids is happy. I'm not even feeling bored.” He rattled on without Jack getting another question in. “This is quite the change, don't you think? And I remembered you saying, I should drop by when nothing had happened for once. And see, for once nothing has happened.” He gave him a bright, nearly maniac smile.

Jack just knew that he was the one starring in utter confusion now. Hopefully it didn't show on his face.

“So, drink? Pub? Where do you usually do friendly socialising?” The Doctor looked down at the city again as if he was contemplating where they should go.

“You really mean this?”

“I'm utterly serious, Captain. Drinking is serious business. What did you think?”

Jack couldn't help a relieved laugh. This was new and he felt a bit out of his depth. “So. A drink, right? You want me to buy you one?”

The Doctor shook his head vigorously, gesturing with his hand. “No, no, no. We have a friendly drink. You can buy me a drink when we know each other better. Although I think _I_ know you pretty well already. Anyway. Not the point. This isn't a date, Captain. This is me dropping in on you unexpectedly and selfishly taking up your time.”

“Sounds like a date to me.”

“No, no. For a date you'd have to grovel a lot more. I have my standards. Don't think you get me to date just with a soft smile and those shiny, blue eyes of yours, Jack. I'm not that young and inexperienced anymore.”

Light hearted banter. Jack could feel the tension leave his body.

“So, captain, how do we get down there?” The Doctor nodded in the direction of the Plass.

“Oh, the same way I got up here, I suppose.” He nodded behind him to indicate the stairs.

“Then what are we waiting for?” The Doctor sprang into action and Jack was quick to keep in step with him. A smile stayed on his lips on his way down.

Maybe he was more than a convenient person to fill a void. Trust the Doctor to pick the right day to be a comfort to him – without noticing, of course.

The man was chattering about some repairs he had made on the Tardis and Jack didn't really pay attention. But when he looked up the Doctor was looking at him, a pleased glint in his eye, and said: “You know some things don't need fixing, but it's doesn't hurt to improve on them anyway.” For a moment he didn't know if the Doctor was still speaking about the Tardis, or if he was in fact talking about them. Then the Doctor patted his shoulder. “You understand, right?”

There was the connection again, in the searching look of the Doctor. And suddenly Jack knew exactly what they were talking about. “Yeah. Never hurts to make things better.” And he did feel a lot better already.


End file.
